Written by: Rachel Morris
Photo courtesy of ‘The Receipts’.
In the dictionary, ‘Receipts’ has 3 definitions,
- the action of receiving something or the fact of its being received.
- a written or printed statement acknowledging that something has been paid for or that goods have been received.
- an amount of money received during a particular period by an organisation or business.
However, in the digital era, it’s taken on a whole new meaning.
Which is why it makes sense that this podcast is called The Receipts. However, they aren’t talking about the kind of receipts that you get from doing your weekly shop, they are talking about the kind of receipt which comes in the form of a screenshot of a conversation or an image of what someone has written online. They’re talking about evidence. You know the kind, we’d be lying if we said we didn’t. I bet almost every single one of you reading this has got receipts in their phone. I know I do.
‘They’ are 3 women; Milena Sanchez, Tolani Shoneys & Audrey Indome who have created a podcast where they talk openly and honestly, giving advice about life, about being female, about men, about their listeners ‘dilemmas’, whilst also bringing their own life and gossip to the table. It’s a podcast that is doing AMAZINGLY well, and rightly so. It’s building a space for all women, especially women of colour, to come and talk and give their perspective at the table.
Initially, when the topic of this blog post was listed, I was buzzing. I asked for it before I could take a moment to think. The content was going to be based around ‘why you should listen to the ‘Receipts’ podcast. I did this before listening because it was already on my list, I had heard great things and I was eager.
“Being cheated on and guys with female friends” was my first episode, I was in the gym on a treadmill just straight up laughing, out loud. I didn’t even care how weird the guy next to me thought I was, my headphones are big enough for people to see that I’m most likely listening to something, so I just let myself react freely.
My first thought whilst laughing out loud and trying to keep a steady pace was “people should listen to this because this is actually real life!” It’s extremely relatable and naturally funny due to the content being drawn from personal experiences as well as their listeners. It’s hard to not have an episode where you’ve experienced something similar. Whether that’s you yourself or someone you know. From the narrative of “crazy” girls, going to the toilet for the first time at your partner’s house, finding out the guy you’ve been talking to is making you the ‘other’ woman to women becoming unpaid detectives.
However, that feeling briefly disappeared when I got about 45 mins into the episode. I just wanted to facepalm. There I was, listening to British women in their late 20s and early 30s talk about friendship and relationship politics like (in my opinion) a bunch of girls in High School.
Having lived in both the U.K and the U.S.A, I’ve found it’s kind of an unspoken norm in the U.K, that “you can’t/shouldn’t be friends with the opposite sex especially, if you have a partner”. Which goes in hand with another unspoken norm, “If you’re a couple and you split up, the friends should also do the same…”
I’m not saying we shouldn’t be honest because it’s genuine and obviously A LOT of people feel this way, but should we be encouraging this way of thinking? Shouldn’t we be changing it? Granted, one of the women did actually try and say how she didn’t really feel the same as the other two, but her voice was kind drowned out.
With growing up in America, men and women are friends and friends stay friends after breakups. I watched my parents remain friends with couples who broke up, never leaving anyone out and not taking the decision of inviting one and not the other. That decision was left to the two people involved, and no one was ever hurt. So, I know it’s possible.
What goes on between a couple is nothing to do with others (providing they don’t drag others into it etc). If two people are together for a long time it’s natural for them to become friends with each other’s friends. You don’t get into a relationship and keep it going for years with the vision “Oh I won’t be close because I predict we might break up”. If you do get close, why should one person lose those people out of loyalty or in an effort to be frowned upon by others and not what they actually want? Bonds are built over time – a breakup shouldn’t have to extend to friends, but this view became a running theme in a few of The Receipts episodes. I feel with that many listeners – it would be good to have an opposing opinion on that topic voiced regularly on the podcast.
At the end of the day, my reasons for disliking this specific way of thinking amplified in a few episodes of the podcast isn’t a reason not to listen. These women aren’t therapists. They’re your everyday British women sharing their personal opinions, just like your female friends. Which is the beauty of this podcast, you feel like you’re sitting down in a conversation with your mates. They just have views which are typical of British culture, I can’t change it by getting annoyed and turning it off. I would just miss out on a podcast I otherwise enjoy.
People don’t like what they don’t understand, so I suppose although I don’t like this particular view present in a few episodes… I’m listening to them in order for me to understand the thinking of so many that do. After all, isn’t that what listening is all about?
Podcasts I really love:
1) Terrible, thanks for asking.
2) Shagged, Married, annoyed
3) Hip Hop saved my life
5) About Race with Reni Eddo-Lodge
6) Estee Lalonde – The heart of it
7) My Favourite Murder
8) The Girls Bathroom